I leave Atlanta in 4 days and begin the journey to Colorado. It's amazing at how established a person can get in a a short time. And to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of change. I mean I get bored with monotony and like to mix things up every once in awhile, but this whole being uprooted and moving into completely unknown and unfamiliar territory - not exactly my strength. So my mind races and my body strains to keep up with the thoughts. I keep randomly getting up to go write something down so I don't forget it. Or go do something so that it's not left undone. Rest is almost impossible at this point - just ask my roommate. Today I actually got a little sad when I realized that it wasn't the best decision for me to engage in an activity that can be very calming for me - cleaning. I didn't have time to vacuum. It's a little pathetic.
In all of the insanity, the lists, the errands, the searching for lost shot records, and the jobs, there is people. Ah...can't forget the people. And with people comes an intense struggle to be present. To be able to lay aside "everything that needs to be done" and share space and time with the people around me I love. The stress is so intense right now that conversation is actually physically difficult. I'm not joking. My heart rate increases when I think about having to talk. Absurd, right?
But in the moments when I let my heart speak, I am reminded that this path has been set before me. It is right. God continues to make that abundantly clear. And there are glimmers of peace. Now if I can just keep my head attached to my heart...
Hopefully over these next few days I will choose to not the stress have the last word. Hopefully there will be good conversation, laughter shared, and maybe a few tears shed. Hopefully there will be life lived.
2 comments:
You are doing a great job of being present and not letting stress have control. Way to fight through this!!! Love you. Peace to you, friend.
Love and peace from the Scotts too. We're thinking of you.
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