I don't like new year's resolutions. Really. I think that I have failed at every single one I have ever set for myself. And honestly, who needs the disappointment? However, in my disdain of resolutions I have embraced the mentality to simply pass over the offering of a new season and continue on with my busy life. Probably not the best alternative. Some friends of mine have adopted the practice of a word of the year. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that either. But I think I like it. There is something beautifully intentional about it and yet does not bind you to a specific habit that taunts failure. So I think I am going to do a trial run with this 'word of the year' idea.
Open.
This past Sunday evening I gathered with the All Souls community of believers in Charlottesville. It was a very sweet time. As the time unfolded, I found myself noticing the space that we occupied. It's located in the heart of downtown. The wall to the outside is glass. It is very open. The seats are arranged such that they overlook the downtown mall a bit while also are position towards each other, in a sort of broad semi circle. It's very open. I remembered how it unnerved me a bit the last time I had been there. Made me feel a little uncomfortable. But I now found myself decidedly loving the space. For it's openness. It's honesty. It's desire and intentionality to be with the city. And I could go on. But that's where the word first came. Open.
Tonight a group women gathered in a space-made-sacred (that included coffee and chocolate) to intentionally pursue the heart of Christ through the meditation of Scripture. I'm always a bit wary during times like this. Will God really reveal himself? Will I fabricate something out of my own selfish desire? But over the past couple of years, I have been learning that, for me, expectation is actually a beautiful expression of hope and that God delights in our expectation of him. Through the words of the Gospel of John and space given over for reflection, this word 'open' revisited me.
There are details of my current journey that reveal why this word, as both an adjective and verb would be difficult for me to adopt as my own, but they will wait for a later time. For now, God is calling me to be open. Open to change. To the unknown. Open to who God has made me and is molding me into. Open to express. Open to receive love and in turn, be open to love others well.
I'm not exactly sure how the next chapter of my life will unfold. This next year will be an exercise of faith and trust. And it's my hearts to desire to respond with my hands and heart open to whatever may come.
