a new hobby?

Awhile ago I told Suzanne that if she would write about her new adventures in running, I would write about whatever topic she chose. Well she came through on her end of the deal. After taking quite awhile to decide, the topic came through - write about this picture.

The quick synopsis - I really enjoy shooting a gun! Yes. I'm serious. It makes me giddy excited. I love the focus required and the stress relief it provides. Now I realize this may sound a little strange, so let me explain.

Suzanne, Melissa and I recently ventured to Memphis, TN for what ended up being an amazing few days of deep soul searching and seeking God's heart. In the middle of all of that we had an adventure. We went to a shooting range. Diane had booked a private class for us. Our instructor's name was Chip and the man new his stuff. He had so much patience with all of us as we had never shot a gun before.

We started off with a .22 rifle and shot a couple of rounds. SO FUN! Then I asked him what was his favorite gun to shoot. A .45 Winchester pistol. And he wanted to know if we wanted to shoot it. I mean, was there even a question? It was pretty incredible!

a little early

Growing up, Easter was a day - an important one, but it was only one day. During the time I have been a part of the dcf family, it has become so much more. There is this season of lent that I didn't really get. And Holy Week? What? Needless to say, I have been learning much over the past few years.

To be quite honest, the Lenten season is a pretty disjointed and disconnected time. This has been the case since it became a piece of my faith journey. Something never seems quite right. The practice either abstained from or adopted rarely fully plays out and this year has been no exception.

As Holy Week began unfolding, my spirit because very weary. I was haunted with old fears and was so uncomfortable with this nagging feeling of "this isn't right". Each day I came home from work, sat at my desk and found tears of the verge of spilling over. Yet there was so specific reason. But life had really lost much joy.

This week, Winn posted a Blessing for Death. It screamed at me. It beckoned me. And if I am honest, it spoke to my deepest desire, to embrace death. To surrender - to 'fling aside' - the things that hinder my heart from knowing Christ. And so, very simply, I asked to know what needed to die.

Yesterday frustration and guilt became my companions as I briefly reflected on my poor demonstration of commitment during Lent, along with a disconnectedness of the season we are in. In that mess, a quiet voice called out and invited me to join Him on the journey He had for me during these last few days. How can I say no?

It has been a journey of redemption during the past hours. A call to die to the stress of my schedule and make some changes because it has been stealing life. Music carries tears of brokenness along with smiles of deep peace and knowledge of a very present and alive Savior. Humility comes out of grace and mercy demonstrating that my merit is not the determining factor of the level of love demonstrated.

My Christ has been so gentle and tender with me. For an undeserved reason, Jesus is caring for me in ways I have never known. I know the abiding presence of my Savior.

And even though it's a little early, I will boldly proclaim:
Alleluia! Christ is risen!